Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Rough Draft


In this memoir, I will give you my full personal experience in the band during high school. There is a reason why these memoirs are considered to be special to me. There are many personal memoirs that are very special? For example the music companions that I went with the band across the country. Another was what happen mostly happen every day in band class. The last and most precious memoirs to me is the great people that I knew that are now my best friends Now I’ll take you back into my personal memoirs from when I was in the high school band.
 Every year in the band we planned to go on a trip and preform in a music festival. For two of the trips, we all had to be at the school at 5:30 in the morning in  the freezing cold. Whenever the bus came, some of us cheered as the bus drove down over to us. During the bus ride one year to Washington D.C, I remembered all of us on the bus laughing hysterical at a movie we were watching. The movie was making fun of a really bad film, and we joked about it after it was over. After dinner we all went to the pool at the hotel before lock in. For your information, lock in was when we were in our rooms and the chaperons taped the doors. There by that’s how we are lock in our until the morning. If someone broke the tape everyone in that room would go home. A part that sticks in my head was after the performance, was changing with all the other boys on the bus into our casual clothing. When we got the national World War Two memorial on the national mall, as we were boarding the bus to go to the Lincoln memorial the chaperons found out that we were one kid less. The crazy part was the missing person was in my group and my chaperon was freaking out. When we found  him, I think that he got confused and that all of us were walking there . The nest year was to New York City, and it was our first night there. We just saw the Broadway show Jersey Boys, later in the trip mostly everyone was singing songs from the show. Another part of the New York trip I thought the best part was when we had time before the show to walk around time square. The store that I went to that was awesome was the M&M store.During three out of the four trips, whenever we went for dinner we told the restaurant that it was our music teacher Mr. Young birthday. This band tradition started when my sister was in high school. That was when Mr.Young stared to teach at the High school. These are some of my favorite memoirs of  high school band trips.
 During band class, there were some memorable times I had in that room with my classmates. One of them was that happen mostly  every class. When it was time to pack up, but Mr.Young would still make us play. Sometimes when this happened we miss the bell to the next class. Then he had to call the main office to tell that we were coming late. Another memory was whenever it was somebody’s birthday in the band. We would all sing happy birthday to then, and  my best friend Tim would play it on his trumpet. I really remember the times when we had to go outside and practice our songs for the parades, and it was really cold to march too. Whenever Mr.young was out sick, Tim would be in charge and we would do our music. He had use do it because he could trust us. I remember who all us work together so would sound our best. Now one of the last memory from the band room is when we would do deep breathing exercises at the beginning of class. Sometimes I had to catch my breath because it had hard for me to hold it in. These are my personal memoirs from the band room.
The best memoirs that are most remunerable to me is the friends I made in those four great years. Outside the band room, I had some friends but I was kind of shy around my other classmates. If I ever had a bad before band, people were there for me to comfort, and cheer me up. Another example of the friends that I made in band was, for example some of us would hang out it we had a half day of school. I think one person who became one of my best friends was someone named Tim Desroches. He was a good friend because he was always nice to me, and he would help me with my music learning with my trumpet. This fiend from my early years in band a good person, and the funny guy of the class. His was DJ Cory, one time he played his trombone on a table during practice to be funny. Another person who has also become a great friend for in was someone named Kathleen Hammond. She was a good friend because, she was always happy to see me ,and was nice to everyone else in the band. This is how I made the best of friends in band. Even though we were all friends, we all considered ourselves family.
Now I’ve given you the memoirs about my life in the high school band. The stories of laughter and fun with my friends of the band in those four years. What was it like to be in the band room when we had practice. The great moment of when I was on band trips. How I made the greatest friends in there that I’ll remember for the rest of my life. These are the different memoirs that I had preserved from high school band forever. I hope someday I can relive these memory’s again later in life.

2 comments:

  1. This certainly fits your theme, and you have lots of memories here. But I'm not quite sure what your main point is. The beginning seems pretty scattered, a lot of memories from band trips, but I don't know exactly what they add up to.

    The end (about the friendships you developed through band) seem to be a possible thing to focus on. I'd like to see you describe more about "what it was like in the band room when [you] had practice" so that I can *see* these relationships and why they were so important to you. What did you learn from these band friendships? Can you describe *particular* memories and let these people come alive on the page a bit more?

    I'd be glad to talk to you more abut this, or I'm sure the tutors in the lab could help you focus and develop this a bit more.

    In revision be careful about spelling, run-ons, and fragments.

    I'm looking forward to seeing your next draft!!

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    1. Can we talk about this in class tomorrow from colin

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